Q : What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground?
A : Shoot him again.

Q : How can you tell when a man is well-hung?
A : When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.

Q : Why do little boys whine?
A : Because they're practicing to be men.

Q : How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A : One - he just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.

Q : What do you call a handcuffed man?
A : Trustworthy.

Q : What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A : You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

Q : Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A : To stop the snoring before it starts.

Q : What is the difference between men and women?
A : A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need.

A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

Q : How does a man keep his youth?
A : By giving her money, furs and diamonds.

Q : How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A : Rename the mail folder "instruction manuals"

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