|More Bons Mots from Tallrite|
|Staggering Home from the Pub|
Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all
day and most of the night celebrating St Patrick’s Day.
Mick, the bartender says, “You’ll not be drinking
anymore tonight, Paddy”
Paddy replies “OK Mick, I’ll be on my way
Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off. He
falls flat on his face.
“Dammit” he says and pulls himself up by the
stool and dusts himself off.
He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on
“Oh God, this is gettin' worse,” he slurs.
He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if
he can just get to the door and some fresh air he’ll be fine.
He belly crawls to the door and shimmies up to the
He sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath of
fresh air, feels much better and takes a step out onto the sidewalk.
He falls flat on his face.
“I’ll never make it home,” he mumbles amid more
He can see his house just a few doors down, and
crawls to the door and shimmies up the door frame, opens the door and
He takes a look up the stairs and grunts “No
way”. He crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door and says “Maybe I
can just can make it to the bed.”
He takes a step into the room and falls flat on his
He says “To hell with it” and falls into bed.
The next morning, his wife, Bridie, comes into the
room carrying a cup of coffee and says, “Get up Paddy. Did you have a
bit to drink last night?”.
Paddy says, “I did Bridie. I was totally scuttered
pissed. Me head’s throbbin’. But how’d ye know?”
“Mick phoned ... You left your wheelchair at the
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Thanks Dave Parker
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